Monthly Archives: October 2009

Canadian Jet Fighter Bombs Las Vegas

Las Vegas Backstage Access has learned that a Canadian jet fighter dropped his full fuel tanks in a populated Las Vegas area and then made an emergency landing after losing power in one of its two engines. 

The CF-18 was en route from Las Vegas to El Centro, California last Saturday afternoon when the problem occurred.   The pilot reportedly jettisoned the plane’s external fuel tanks, which officials say landed about 500-metres from some civilians that still live in Las Vegas, and one kilometre west of busy Interstate 15.  

Miraculously, no one was injured. The jet fighter made a safe landing at Nellis Air Force Base, 13-kilometres northeast of Las Vegas. 

A Nellis spokesman simply said it’s safer to land an aircraft without the additional weight of full fuel tanks. 

The cause of the power loss is currently under investigation.

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Get Buried Alive in Las Vegas

In Medieval times it was routine to bury your dead in a specialized coffin that came complete with a bell.  The bell wasn’t there to celebrate or memorialize the deceased.  It was there so the departed could draw attention to their grave when they suddenly awoke and found themselves buried alive. 

And now this age old true nightmare has become an extreme macabre event as The Last Ride at Monster Mayhem in Las Vegas.  

The Last Ride starts when Cockney gravediggers place the “guest” into a wooden casket, sealing it.  From there the ride begins- you’re “carried” to the grave site in a hearse and even covered in dirt, complete with the fading smell of roses and the noise of eager beetles all around.  Family and friends have the chance to view the “dearly departed” via Casket Cam as they find themselves buried alive. 

Local notables The Amazing Jonathon and Teller, the silent partner to Penn Jillette, have each taken a tour around the grave experience and lived to take the stage another day.  So, maybe it’s worth the price to stop on by Monster Mayhem’s two haunted houses or the haunted graveyard.  Fees go to support the Peoples Autism Foundation.   

The dead can be buried, and, if lucky, arise from 7 p.m. to Midnight through November 1 at Boca Park in Summerlin.  Tickets for the burial are $3 and can be purchase at the gate.  For more information call 702-478-2899.

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God Seeks New Las Vegas Prophets – Billboards!

Las Vegas sinners better repent now because God has a whole new cadre of prophets heading your way- billboards!  

Driving down the heart of Las Vegas on Interstate 15 is a brand new crop of billboards that simply read “God” and “Jesus-“ nothing else, no proselytizing. 

Repent, sinners! 

But, as they say: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

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Las Vegas Coroner’s Office Profits by Selling Morbid Gifts

When not performing about 1,500 autopsies a year, the staff at the Clark County Coroner’s Office in Las Vegas is apparently taking a recreational break by doing it all it can to squeeze the last amount of cash from people- alive if not dead. 

Tucked aways from the casual visitor and not on any Web site, is their unique “gift shop-“ a small section of a glass trophy case, about four by six feet, containing an odd, disturbing array of things for sale including shirts, pants, paperweights, jacket patches and hoodies, all with the “Clark County Coroner’s Office” logo; T-shirts with a tag “Cashed out in Las Vegas,”; souvenir license plates, “Stolen from Clark County Coroner” pens; and even cuff bracelets with inspirational sayings such as “Embrace life one day at a time” or “Believe in yourself.”   There is even coffee mugs with the saying, “Here’s where you’re at when the line goes flat” and a business card holder where the bottom half is a jawbone. 

Clearly, they have a sense of humor, though many would say it’s morbid and twisted. 

They say they stole the idea from the larger and equally morbid Los Angeles Coroner’s gift shop. 

They also say that all revenue goes towards offsetting the costs of the Coroner’s Visitation Program, a court-order class for at-risk youth.  Mmmmm. 

Even their staff proudly wears the gear including their boss, Clark County Coroner Michael Murphy, who bought a coroner’s badge lapel pin, not just because he wanted to help out, mind you, but really because he said he likes shiny things that look official.

Best hurry on down there and get a present or two for your loved ones for the holidays.

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Death Worship Festival in Las Vegas

This weekend Las Vegas will celebrate the Day of the Dead, or El Día de los Muertos, the Mexican celebration of the dead. DayoftheDead

The 9-year-old festival at the Winchester Cultural Center is the largest Day of the Dead celebration in Las Vegas, a city which enjoys celebrating all things dead. 

This year 21 altars, some as large as 16 square feet, will welcome home the souls of loved ones who return to eat their favorite foods and be among living friends and family during the holiday. 

Irma Wynants began the Las Vegas festival in 2001 at Prince of Peace Catholic Church with only eight ofrendas (altars) and a few performers. 

Offerings are left on altars decorated with flowers, candles and incense. The dead are publicly remembered and shared. Mexican music and dance are celebrated, along with satirical poems (cavaleras) that are read aloud from stage. 

There will even be workshop on how to make sugar skulls- but the elaborate, candlelit ofrendas are the main attraction. Made mostly by Mexican immigrants, they represent traditions held in the cities and states from which they came — Hidalgo (where they build little houses as altars), Mexico City, Michoacan and even Chihuahua, where families typically bring food and friendship to cemeteries on the holiday rather than build altars. 

This year the ofrendas will reach out to immigrants who died attempting to cross the border. Another will reach out to people who have drowned in Lake Mead. And the Southern Nevada Agency Partnership is building an ofrenda dedicated to people who commit suicide on public land in the Mojave area. Another group plans to create a Michael Jackson ofrenda.

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‘Cowboy Up’ as Professional Bull Riders World Finals come to Las Vegas

Riders and officials are optimistic that this year’s Professional Bull Riders World Finals, which kick off today at the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas, could be the best in the 15-year history of the event. bullriding

Most years, a clear favorite enters the World Finals with a major advantage in points. That’s not the case this year. 

Twelve bull riders are still statistically alive for this year’s championship and three — Kody Lostroh, Guilherme Marchi and J.B. Mauney — all are within 1,000 points of each other, which is a very small margin. 

The action begins 6 p.m. today and runs through Nov. 8, when the championship round will be held. 

With the close competition, this year just one ride could be the difference in winning a championship.

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Former NBA Celtic Star Antoine Walker in Serious Debt, Writes $1 Million in Bad Checks in Las Vegas

Antoine Walker, a former NBA Boston Celtics star, is in deep debt and has been under pursuit of multiple financial institutions recently- and now, even Sin City has caught up with the wayward dribbler. AntoineWalker

Reportedly, in 12 years, 33-year-old Walker made more than $110 million by playing professional basketball just so-so. Taking away taxes, throwing in some aid as endorsement money and a “NBA Live 99” cover, he should be left with around $60 million. 

But all that loot has apparently vanished.  During the last several months, the once multi-millionaire athlete has been pursued by multiple financial institutions for unpaid debts. 

Now, Walker owes more than $4 million dollars to his creditors and is facing felony check fraud charges for allegedly writing $1 million in bad checks in Las Vegas.  Talk about a major foul out!

Does he need counseling from the reformed and outspoken NBA player Charles Barkley? 

How could that amount of money dissipate?   Well, Walker lived large- really large.  He always rolled with an outsized entourage. His mother estimates that, during his playing days, he was supporting 70 friends and family members in one way or another. 

And speaking of his good ol’ mom:  he built her a mansion in the Chicago suburbs, complete with an indoor pool, 10 bathrooms, and a full-size basketball court– hopefully, it allows her wheelchair access and includes a trainer.

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